Suiting yourself to suit others is not living an authentic life. Being trapped can trap your progress.

The Illusion of the Gatekeeper:

The gatekeeper presents themselves as charming people who are deeply insecure, relishing the fact that they can control you in many ways. They constantly try to seek entry into your life, to the detriment of your well-being. Beneath their facade of altruism lies the illusion that keeps them holding power. Their true motivation is not rooted in genuine concern but rather in the control and manipulation of the way they make all decisions for you.

At first glance, the gatekeeper may appear as a reassuring person you are familiar with, offering guidance to you and wanting to assist with everything you come up against. They want opportunities to prove themselves as worthy of something. They may assert their authority by pretending to want the best for you.

Behind the scenes, the gatekeeper loves this role of gaining access, getting satisfaction from the ability to dictate who is granted entry and who is denied into your life. They thrive in controlling you, but did you ask for this?

Other People’s Boundaries Are Not Yours

When a gatekeeper pretends to mean well, they can often not be thought of as a gatekeeper at all. In fact, a sweet smile can disguise an awful lot, but if they have boundaries, or things they wouldn’t be prepared to do, or are secretly too scared to do, they will want you to conform to their thought patterns and beliefs so that you too stay ungrown.

Gatekeepers feel better when you aren’t putting yourself out there, and that’s due to the idea that they are totally and utterly insecure. They see fault when they look in the mirror - they do not like what they see. Instead of working on that, they will see you and make you see the same when you look in that same mirror. Their work is complete when you sit within their boundaries with them, so they don’t feel this awful alone.

What matters to them is that they have and keep that control. Nothing else is important, because nothing else is worth fighting for. They don’t want to fight for their freedom, so they trap you and keep you with them, so nobody lives the life they want. This is incredibly sad.

Gatekeepers and Boundaries - What Happens Next:

Gatekeepers tend not to have boundaries, unless they need or want you to do something for them. The control they create by suddenly appearing and naming things of importance will keep you on your toes, and that’s the very mission they wish to take on. Gatekeepers who lead quiet, fearful lives are the ones who never want to do it alone, so they will recruit you.

When you are held back in life, what happens to you? What happens to your wishes and dreams? What happens when you want to step out and make something happen for yourself? When your dreams are so big, they are promptly knocked back by the gatekeeper who doesn’t want you to grow and develop?

The gatekeeper in your life will make you think your dreams are a problem, or that you are not clever enough, or able to complete them, so they convince you not to bother at all.

Your Gatekeeper Warning:

Gatekeepers will not warn you of their harmful actions; they will carry them out and leave you facing your own consequences. If you feel you are missing out on a great life that was destined for you, then every day you live under the reckless boundaries of other people, you will be starving your dreams for the attention they are craving.

In years to come, you will look back and have nothing but regret after regret, as your gatekeeper feels no remorse for what they did to you, and probably zero responsibility will be taken as well.

A Direct Message from The Gatekeeper:

“I’d never admit to you that I’m scared or taking chances, so I create boundaries to keep myself safe, and tell you that you are worthy of being in company, here with me.”

What You Can Do:

You have every right to live the life that makes you happy. Nobody should be holding you back or giving you terrible reasons why your dreams don’t make sense. If someone is trying to put a cap on your vision, then perhaps you aren’t the one with the problem. Be true to yourself, be thoughtful of all the ways the gatekeeper is broken, and all the way they too are breaking you so that you feel as down and out as they do. If there is a possibility that you can jump free - you must.

Summary of The Gatekeeper Who Lacks Boundaries:

Gatekeepers are very good at controlling others by ensuring their boundaries are open for you to join them. Refusing to believe that we are all capable and have a right to create our own boundaries is something they are good at, because if they were to allow that, then they wouldn’t have that control over people like you.

If you are seeing this toxic pattern of a gatekeeper rubbishing your dreams and desires, or refusing you the freedom emotionally, mentally or physically that you are craving or asking for, then it is a reflection on their own insecurities, and not what you personally are capable of achieving. You are the only person who truly knows yourself, so you must listen to your heart.

Gatekeeper Affirmation:

I will never let anybody destroy my dreams or make me believe they are not possible.

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