To recover from this distorted sense of reality you are going to have to face your fears. Recovery has to do with re-establishing healthy connections. Whether that’s in muscles or in your brain - so that you can start to be more relaxed in everyday situations. With mental recovery, you’re going to have to exercise your belief system. With physical recovery you’re going to have to exercise your muscles.
To overcome your fears, or at least the triggers that remind you of trauma you have experienced in real life, you’re going to have to start associating new experiences with those triggers. This is a bit difficult in the beginning. Because your expectations can cause a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words you create a new traumatic experience because you are so sure your trigger will lead to a bad experience that you make it happen - consciously or unconsciously.
But if you consciously take small steps to overcome little triggers, the big triggers will stop feeling so daunting. It’s very likely that you have been noticing a funny side to yourself. Like your ability to communicate is at an all time low, and you’re feeling quite alone. But take an objective look at the good things that have been happening in your life.
It might feel like you’re alone. But the truth is you’re not. There are people in your life who want to be there for you, if you allow them to be. Being so vulnerable in front of people can be very scary. But it’s one road to recovery. If you spill the beans on what’s making you act so unusual it could open a whole new level of communication for you. You’ll finally be able to express yourself freely.
But, the Devil is about illusions and false pretenses. And if you’ve been acting out in strange ways it could mean that you’re triggered by the people you’re opening up to - whether that’s a friend, lover or family. It usually means there’s a bit of a codependent relationship at play in your life and that you feel chained to the other person’s ideas of what you should do in your life. And that co-dependence could turn toxic very quickly. If this is the case you might want some time to yourself. Recovery is an inside job, and you’re going to have to heal those wounds before you hurt other people.
If you want to choose the path of recovery now, instead of living with unhealed trauma that shows up as stress in your life, now is a good time to take a look at the role you’ve been playing in your own life.
What can you learn about yourself? Sure, some things were out of your control. But how did the trauma from your past cause you to act in those stressful situations? And better yet, what would be a better way to react the next time you feel a sudden jolt of pain?
During recovery it’s quite common for us to repeat the same negative actions during a traumatic experience as we did when we first experienced the trauma. So, even though you may not have caused the drama - there’s a very big chance that you are still “chained” to the illusions created by your flight, fight or fawn response that comes from unhealed trauma. But when you realize that setting yourself free is as simple as unhooking the chain it becomes a whole lot easier to stop your trauma responses.
You’re not seeing the world as it is, and it’s chaining you to a worse version of yourself. Trauma recovery is no joke. And it can take years. But you can work on small steps to lessen the severity of your reaction to certain triggers.
The world isn’t as scary as it feels to you right now. It’s your fear talking. But to be able to recover from your fear-based illusions you’re going to have to convince yourself that the things that set you off aren’t really that bad. Your response may be valid based on past experience. But is it valid based on the life you’re living now?
Healing a deep trauma can do wonders to the level of connection you feel to those around you. Instead of relationships feeling like chains, they start feeling like support systems. But that only starts happening once you’re well on the road to recovery. So start small, but do make a start at turning your small fears into small victories.